I feel like I've slept most of this month away. I have a continual sleep deficit as it is, but last week, the collection services came to call... and I found myself falling asleep in front of the evening television. This weekend I've gone to bed early, and I slept late on Saturday — and for the time being, I believe I'm partially caught up.
I'm usually not much of a napper. Tiredness is becoming a more common state for me so it seems like that's changing a bit. Not a bad thing necessarily, just different. Of course, it is January, and I tend to go through a dormant cycle this month (and most of February too). Actually, I'm kind of hoping that's all that's going on here.
You see, there are other changes ongoing, little reminders that I am no longer a spring chicken, so to speak. Just last night I was getting ready to sit down in the floor and realized this was a very bad idea. Not because it would be silly to sit in the floor when there were perfectly good chairs and couches available, but instead, because of one singular realization: Getting back up off this floor is going to be a real bitch.
Gray hair? Yep, I have it... not a lot, but enough. No really, enough. Fading memory? Yes, that's been going on for a couple of years now. Maybe longer, I can't remember. Eyesight? Let's just say I find myself increasing the font size on the old web browser more and more often. The process is underway, that much is certain.
Napping for me used to be infrequent enough that I could remember individual naps. There was a time in high school when I fell asleep after school one afternoon, laying in the autumn sun, wearing cheap sunglasses, and believing I was the epitome of cool. There was a time in college when I was experimenting with lucid dreaming and had a resounding success during a nap. And just a couple of years ago, I fell asleep for four hours at the beach, waking to the sounds of the ocean — and afterward, started writing the software which powers this blog.
Last week? They all ran together, and now I wonder if I'm sleeping away the best parts of my life. Sure, evening television doesn't really fall into that category — as time passes TV seems more and more useless — but the kids like it, so all we have on anymore is kid shows. Meaning: if the TV is on the kids are around, and if I'm sleeping, I'm missing out on their presence. And I'm sure that, despite the day-to-day struggle parenting can bring, I will one day lament their absence.
So I'll keep trying to remain awake — battling time and the sandman, two formidable enemies when one reaches a certain age.