Part of my errand list today found me at the Charleston Town Center to pick up some converter boxes from Suddenlink. Apparently they're doing some jiggery-pokery to the cable channels around here and the only way to get any channels above 23 in the near future will be via one of their magic boxes. As of right now, channels 2 through 9 don't seem to work with these boxes, which is a pretty serious problem since those are mostly the local networks... so I'm going to have to make some calls tomorrow to see what's going on. This, however, is not the crux of my story.
Since I was already at the mall, I decided to wander around a little and shop. I'm not at the mall often, but as far as I could tell, it's mostly the same — and I daresay much like any typical mall in America. You've got your food court area, a couple of big anchor stores at each end like JC Penney and Sears, kiosks throughout the middle, various specialty clothing stores (shoes, jewelry, women's clothing, teen clothing, lingerie), a couple of knick-knack and novelty shops, the ubiquitous Radio Shack, and at least one each of stores selling video games, books, and music. The mall I frequented as a youngster was similar enough (and actually still is) that I could probably say most malls are about the same.
"It's all the same
Only the names will change..."Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive
So I thought I'd pop into FYE and see if there was a CD I'd like to get. Sure, maybe it's quaint to buy a CD these days, but I was there, the store was there, and for a moment, it seemed like it was just meant to be.
That is, until I realized I was the oldest person in the place.
The cashiers and other workers were ambling about and joking with each other, and they all seemed to be in their twenties. The manager looked like she was maybe thirty. One of the guys stocking the racks saw me looking a bit bewildered and asked if he could help me find something. I assured him I was fine, perhaps with a bit too much verve, and perused the CDs as if I knew exactly what I was doing. I pondered names like Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga. I've at least heard of these before. Bieber is a little kid who looks like he's about twelve and whose name always makes me think of Attorney Joel Bieber, who practiced in North Cackalacky when I lived there. And Lady Gaga is... well, a name I've heard, but that's about it. Is she the one who keeps wolves in her closet or something?
I continued on, passing a whole wall of Japanese figurines and cartoons, moving to what seemed to be the "vampire" section of the store. Apparently vampires are in vogue yet again, emerging from their coffins like seventeen-year locusts, except this time taking the form of pouty sheep-eyed boys. A little further and I found myself in the "TV on DVD" section, where 24's Kiefer Sutherland at least gave me a familiar — though haggard — face.
Mostly, I believe I was confused. I was confused at the bewildering array of things I wasn't at all familiar with, and I was confused about how this had happened. When I was — ok, I'll say it — young, I vowed that I would stay caught up with the times, and that I wouldn't let myself become an old fogy like my parents (who, come to think of it, were in their mid-thirties at the time). No, I'd be right on top of everything and have an iron grasp on what was culturally significant and relevant.
Something bad happened there, obviously. And I don't think I can get back on that train.
"Sir? Can I help you find something?" No, kid, probably not.