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Swine flu and hogwash

Last week at work, we were given face masks and a fact sheet about how to avoid H1N1. The number one thing on the fact sheet was wash your hands, which I thought was kind of a "duh" thing to have on the list, but most of the others were too. Wearing face masks was not on the list.

It was kind of weird that we got our fairly informative (if not rather obvious) fact sheets and our Howard Hughes paranoia on the same day. That tells me the panic level about H1N1 is high enough that people aren't 100% sure what to do, so they err on the side of caution. For those of you who like five dollar words instead of fifty cent words, that's called overcompensation.

I have what you might call a big picture view of germs and viruses. Our bodies have built-in defense mechanisms which handle the majority of these with superb efficiency. If we didn't have these defenses, we probably never would have come into existence to begin with. And if we had somehow managed to survive as a species, we would have to be exceedingly careful to avoid getting cut or scraped, breathing unclean air, eating anything impure, and having any physical contact whatsoever with anyone or anything. Howard Hughes indeed. Since we don't avoid any of those things — and in fact, do the exact opposite most of the time — our built-in defenses are working pretty damned well, thank you very much.

So let's talk about vaccines, then.

In the early 1990s (I don't remember the exact year), there was a fair amount of buzz about some strain of flu going around. The buzz generated a corresponding social message of "everybody needs to go get a flu shot." Sound familiar? At the time, for whatever reason (I was in my impressionable early 20s), I decided that was a good idea. So I found a place giving flu shots at relatively low cost (I was also in my broke early 20s) and got one. I got dreadfully sick immediately after.

Flash forward about ten years. I worked at a medical facility which required an annual physical with blood test. I successfully dodged this bullet for several years, but I was eventually called out and forced into compliance. My blood test revealed I'd never had chicken pox (true), and I was informed I had to get vaccinated if I wanted to keep working there. The motivation was certainly strong enough at the time, and the price was right, so I rolled up my sleeve and said have at it. Within days I got sent home for a week and collected Worker's Comp. The reason? I got chicken pox.

I went through the usual round of childhood immunizations, of course, but beyond those, the flu shot and the chicken pox shot are the only vaccines I remember getting. So based on those experiences, and what happened to me afterward, you can probably guess my views about the H1N1 vaccine.

I've already got a good shot at getting H1N1 as it is. If you have kids you know exactly what I'm talking about: schools are perfect breeding grounds for every communicable disease known to man, and the kids bring every bit of it home. Even if the kids are already immune (regardless of how that happened) they can still carry the diseases home on clothes, backpacks, lunchboxes, whatever. And it just takes one virus to get you sick.

Bring it.

I'm not going to run around hiding from every little germ that comes along. I'm not going to wear any face mask like Michael Jackson. Just today I saw a guy driving on the interstate, alone in a car with all the windows up, wearing a face mask. Is that really what the world has come to? Have we lost that much confidence in our own immune systems? And you know, it's just the flu. It's not the black plague or Captain Trips.

If I do end up getting this thing, I'll give it my usual remedy — lots of orange juice, lots of rest, and lots of bitching — and I'll get through it and be immune to the real thing instead of whatever weakened or strange variant might be in the hastily-produced vaccine. And if it comes out years later that the vaccine wasn't as effective as they'd hoped, or had thalidomide in it, or caused "certain sexual side effects," I'll be just fine. I'm not saying any of those things will necessarily come about from the vaccine, but I really don't think any of them are too far-fetched, either.

If anybody wants an unopened face mask, just give me a shout and it's all yours.

Posted October 28, 2009 @ 21:07:42 EDT. 2 comments.

Comments on "Swine flu and hogwash":

Nice. I can't believe they gave you facemasks. If you wear one, everyone will panic when they see you.

I'm not getting the shot either. I've never gotten a flu shot, and I've never gotten the flu. And if I was going to get anything at all, between my job and Corey's job, we would have everything. Yet we are both sick very, very rarely. And wanna know a secret? Neither of us are totally obsessive handwashers either. I was especially bad about not doing it when I was younger. And I rarely to never got sick.

(All that said, have you seen Chris' Facebook profile photo?)

# Posted by Lisa on November 3, 2009 @ 11:55:35 EST.

I have indeed seen Chris's new profile picture, and he looks scary. Probably as scary as I'd look if I donned my mask.

# Posted by Brad Mills on November 3, 2009 @ 23:15:40 EST.

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