Weirdbook.org

Nocturnal ontology

So I'm on day 20 of the patch, and I'm beginning to wonder if I've permanently broken my sleep cycle. Over the last week I've woken up between 3:00 and 4:00, wide awake, and have stayed that way for 30 to 45 minutes. I find myself going to bed earlier, like between 10:00 and 11:00 (that's about an hour early for me). And over the last few nights, I've woken up from very weird and intense dreams. In one of these dreams I had gotten completely ready for the day — shower, dressed, brushing teeth, every detail perfect. It seemed absolutely real. And then I woke up, looked at the clock, realized it was a dream, and had the odd sensation of the butterfly who dreamed he was a man.

I've been through this before, so it's not unexpected. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the crazy dreams. They last all night, they're fun, and given the older I've gotten the fewer dreams I recall, they're a welcome change. But, they are a reminder of something else I've forgotten over the years: The human brain is perhaps the least reliable instrument with which to measure and interpret reality.

Once upon a time, I strongly believed that everything we thought existed was merely a shadow of something more grand, and that we could never perceive things as they truly were. Thus, everything we see is just a manifestation of some sort. I still think there's some truth to that. In the case of people, I guess you could call that a "soul" — but I think it goes beyond people. Rocks, water, metal, glass, plants, animals, the most ordinary of objects — all just expressions of some essence we can never completely fathom. That probably sounds an awful lot like a religious statement, and honestly, that's probably the closest I'll get to one.

But any dream is proof enough that what we see is not necessarily true. I assume I'm not the only one who has dreamed of hiding something under the bed, and upon waking the next morning, looking to see if it was there. You know it was a dream, you know there's nothing under the bed except the usual stuff. Most importantly, you know objects can't move from the dream into the real world... yet you look anyway. Why?

The most important question for me at the moment, though, is this: will the dreams continue after I go off the patch, or will they disappear? I hope they stick around, as I'm enjoying the ride.

Posted October 20, 2009 @ 23:03:46 EDT. 0 comments.